Counselling session

Due to our Anxiety we have arranged a couples session with a lady called Barbara on the 2nd April. When I spoke to her on the phone she told me that my husband and I are still coming to terms with the negative result during Christmas and this is why we are having heart racing moments. We are struggling not being in control and being able to plan when our little baby arrive.

What we took away from the appointment…

Barbara was lovely and easy to talk to. When driving home hubby and I asked ourselves what we took away from the session:

• Do more things as a couple. Its easy to get so involved with day to day lives and forget about spending quality time together. Barbara advised that each weekend we take turns to plan something we will do as a couple. This weekend was hubbys turn and he decided we went to the local pub after work on Friday! We thought it would be good to enjoy something alcoholic before I start IVF on Sunday ( 2 days time!)
• Timebox talks for 20mins. Hubby and I always talk about upcoming appointments but we never actually talk about why we are going there and how we are feeling. Barbara suggested at least twice a week we time box 20mins to talk about what is going on and how we feel. She suggested we timebox it as we could end up going round in circles. She also suggested when we finished talking we did something straight after ( such as going for a walk) to divert the mind to something else.
• Write down how you feel. This doesn’t work for all, and definitely not my hubby. But Barbara said if it makes you feel good to start writing it down!  ( this is me doing this right now writing this post)
• Control heart racing moments. Barbara suggested that you can kind of start feeling when a heart racing/worrying moment is about to start. She said when you feel it coming on, it’s important to step away and take 15mins to do some deep breathing and think of positive thoughts
• Try not to tell too many people the next time round. We found during the first round there was pressure to update 6-8 close family and friends on progress made and next steps. This became quite difficult especially towards the end we felt like those around us took the bad news worse than us! Barbara suggested we tell fewer people this time round.

We going to try and do the above and hopefully it helps us. We have arranged another appointment with Barbara at the end of our frozen egg cycle which starts tomorrow!